As Seen On TV

2009-07-16T22:44:00.000-07:00

Great As Seen On TV Products
Hot Sellers, High Margin. Agents Wanted

Stylish Foldaway Hand Bag Hanger

Get hooked on it! Thanks to the genius Bag Hanger there is now a clever and glamor solution to take care of your handbag. You don't anymore have to put it on the floor or on your knees when you go out. Simply hook your bag hanger to any table and hang your handbag to it. You love your handbag and its content, the bag hanger keeps it next to you, clean and safe.

...........................................................................................................................

Engrave It!

Engrave Almost Anything! The Engrave It engraving tool allows you to engrave nearly anything you can imagine on almost any type of surface: wood, metal, plastic, leather, glass and much more.

Do you know that Law enforcement won't return stolen property unless it’s identifiable? Use Engrave-It to permanently label and protect your valuables.

Safe and easy to use. Works just like a pen. Engrave your child's lunch box or guard against theft by engraving your MP3 player. Engrave ornaments, silver pieces, lockets, rings and more. Great arts and crafts fun for the whole family.

Personalize your keepsakes, Engrave It is an inexpensive alternative to costly engraving services!

Product Benefits

● Works On Almost Any Surface
● Cordless and Easy To Use
● Powerful yet Safe To the Touch
● Inexpensive Alternative to Engraving Services

Uses 2 AA size batteries (not included)

Please use only new alkaline battery for best result.

========================================================

Mighty Putty

Now you can repair any job big or small, thanks to Mighty Putty.

Mighty Putty is great for anything from your smallest craft projects to your largest home improvements! The easy way to fix, fill and seal almost any surface and make it last.

Mighty Putty is a powerful bonding epoxy stick that you can mold to any shape and can apply to any surface for an everlasting bond.

Simply cut, activate and apply...then all you do is let it dry. Seal leaks in an instant, rebuild tools, and fill cracks in ceilings or floors and many more!

• Your order of Mighty Putty is covered by our 100% satisfaction guarantee.
• Just cut, activate and apply Mighty Putty™ to fix, fill or seal almost any surface!
• Mighty Putty has the muscle to support up to 350lbs!

Mighty Putty works on Ceramics, Metal, Wood, Glass, PVC, Wall boards, Tile, Concrete and much more!

3 tubes in a box. Rubber gloves included.

=======================================================

Smooth Legs

Smooth Legs enables you to remove unwanted hair and get silky soft skin without any pain or discomfort plus exfoliating at the same time!

Its gentle buffing action removes hair from the root giving your skin an invigorating boost and bringing back a healthy natural, youthful glow to your skin.

By moving the pad in a circular motion over clean dry skin, you can gently buff away unwanted hair quickly and easily, without any mess.

Use the large Smooth Legs on larger areas such as legs, arms, underarms, back and chest. Use the small Smooth Legs on delicate areas such as the chin, upper lip, bikini line, fingers and toes.

Forget painful waxing and harsh shaving – Smooth Legs is the pain free alternative, keeping your skin hair free for up to 3 weeks – without any preparation time or clean up afterward.

The Smooth Legs' surface is delicate enough to not damage skin, but powerful enough to banish even the toughest hair.

Unlike waxing, Smooth Legs is pain free and there is no need for any preparation time or cleaning up afterward. You can carry it with you in your handbag or take it on holiday.

Each Smooth Legs Pad is washable and re-useable and depending on hair thickness and usage, can last you up to 3 months.

Package includes:

1 Travel case 1 Large Backing Pad
1 Small Backing Pad
4 Large Replacement Pads
4 Large Replacement Pads

======================================================

PedEgg

The Deluxe PedEgg is the revolutionary foot file that you've seen nationally advertised on TV. It's the newest and fastest way to make your feet feel smooth and healthy with NO MESS!

The secret is PedEgg's precision micro-files that gently remove calluses and dead skin to give your feet the incredible baby soft look and feel that everybody loves.

Two high quality emery buffing pads are included for the ultimate finishing touch. The unique egg shape of the PedEgg not only looks great, but is ergonomically designed to fit perfectly into the palm of your hand for easy and convenient use.

Best of all, PedEgg has been designed to collect all the skin shavings in a convenient storage compartment allowing you to use it anywhere with no mess. You and your feet will love the new PedEgg!

============================================================

Mario Electronics
02-03, 1-Stop Midlands Park,
Burmah Road,
10350 Penang,
Malaysia

Tel: +6016-4165599 (Simon Teh)
Email: ekazaam@gmail.com

Agent wanted. Hot selling and highly profitable! Contact us now!

Ideal for kiosks in shopping center, market place and direct selling.

As Seen On TV

2009-06-17T21:32:00.000-07:00

Great As Seen On TV Products
Hot Sellers, High Margin.
Agents Wanted

Stylish Foldaway Hand Bag Hanger Get hooked on it

Stylish Foldaway Hand Bag Hanger

Get hooked on it! Thanks to the genius Bag Hanger there is now a clever and glamor solution to take care of your handbag. You don't anymore have to put it on the floor or on your knees when you go out.

Simply hook your bag hanger to any table and hang your handbag to it.

You love your handbag and its content, the bag hanger keeps it next to you, clean and safe.

......................................................................................................................................................

Engrave It!

===================================================================

Mighty Putty

Now you can repair any job big or small, thanks to Mighty Putty.

Mighty Putty is great for anything from your smallest craft projects to your largest home improvements! The easy way to fix, fill and seal almost any surface and make it last.

Mighty Putty is a powerful bonding epoxy stick that you can mold to any shape and can apply to any surface for an everlasting bond.

Simply cut, activate and apply...then all you do is let it dry. Seal leaks in an instant, rebuild tools, and fill cracks in ceilings or floors and many more!

• Your order of Mighty Putty is covered by our 100% satisfaction guarantee.
• Just cut, activate and apply Mighty Putty™ to fix, fill or seal almost any surface!
• Mighty Putty has the muscle to support up to 350lbs!

Mighty Putty works on Ceramics, Metal, Wood, Glass, PVC, Wall boards, Tile, Concrete and much more!

3 tubes in a box. Rubber gloves included.

===================================================================

Smooth Legs

===================================================================

PedEgg

====================================================================

Mario Electronics

02-03, 1-Stop Midlands Park,

Burmah Road,
10350 Penang,
Malaysia

Tel: +6016-4165599 (Simon Teh)

Email: ekazaam@gmail.com

Agent wanted. Hot selling and highly profitable! Contact us now!

Ideal for kiosks in shopping center, market place and direct selling.

Boost sales by showing the video.

Wishing Well

2009-03-12T21:39:00.000-07:00

Wishing Well.

Be careful of what you wish for............

.

Rear Seat Belt

2009-02-26T20:20:00.000-08:00

Buckle Up!

New Office

2009-02-26T20:12:00.000-08:00

DUE TO ECONOMIC DOWNTURN,

THIS IS YOUR NEW CUBICLE

EFFECTIVE JANUARY 1, 2009

NEW OFFICE POLICY

Dress Code:
1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.

2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well Financially and therefore do not need a raise.

3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.

4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.

Sick Days:
We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Personal Days:
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.

Bereavement Leave:
This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the
stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the stall
door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense, your picture will be posted on the
company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.

Lunch Break:
* Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.

* Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.

* Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.

Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Therefore,
all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations,
allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.

The Management
Pass this on to all who are employed!

New Office Toilet

2009-02-26T20:08:00.000-08:00

New Office Toilet

Ladies, this is to shorten your toilet time and increase office productivity.

Some pics from the Australian fires

2009-02-26T19:59:00.001-08:00

Subject: Some pics from the Australian fires

It is even gloomier when u have this fire + dire economy condition .......

In this photo, there is a 737 passenger airliner, shortly after takeoff from Melbourne airport.

Hazlewood Power Station in the foreground of the photo

Kinglake

Marysville

Don't Throw away your old PC

2009-02-26T19:37:00.000-08:00

Don't Throw away your old PC

Try to do something useful with it

Your keyboard can become this...

Or this...

Reuse ur mouse...

Need a new cage for your pet?

Smoker? 'No problem' (i gona to use my pc like this....... ha ha ha)

try this?!!

What? Can't do any of the previous ? Yeah, You are not a very creative person haa.

Don't worry!!! I have something that you can do...
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..
..

Quote Of The Day:

2009-02-22T20:01:00.000-08:00

Quote of the Day:

Husbands wives and girl friends

2009-02-19T05:40:00.000-08:00

Failure is not when your girlfriend leaves you, it's only when you leave her a virgin.

Tension is when wife is pregnant!

Terror is when girlfriend is pregnant!
Horror is when both are pregnant!
Tragedy is when you are not responsible for both!

The Blue Whale ejaculates over 40 gallons of sperm when mating. Only 10% enters the female. And you always wondered why the sea tasted salty?

Why is it that a girl looks down when you say I love you?

To see if you really mean it!

Why is sex similar to shaving?

Well, because no matter how well you do it today, tomorrow you have to do it again.

Wives are funny creatures. They don't have sex with their husbands for weeks and then they want to kill the woman who does.

Wife: My hubby & I have, what he calls-olympic sex.

Friend: Wow, must be a terrific sex life?

Wife: Not really. It only happens once in 4 years.

The stock markets now are like an old man's dick?

Just refusing to rise, and the irony is that everyone is still getting fucked!

This week is Breast Awareness Week. Spread the slogan "We stare because we care!"

The saddest part of a man's body is his balls. The Lord Almighty sentenced them to "Hang Till Death!"

A loud scream comes from the bedroom and the husband runs in. He sees a guy leaping out of the window.

Wife yells: That guy just screwed me twice!

Husband: Twice? Why didn't you call me in after he screwed you once?

Wife: Because I thought it was you, until he started the second time.

What is the difference between a chicken and a baby?

Chicken is the result of a sitting hen while the baby is the result of standing cock.

If a bomb bursts in a bra, what would you get?

Tit-Bits.

And if it bursts in a man's underwear?

Banana split.

What's the difference between a bomb & a condom?

In a bomb blast, population decreases BUT in a condom blast, population increases.

The Eye Test.

2009-02-19T00:39:00.000-08:00

The Eye Test
Can you find the B
(there are 2 B's) DON'T skip or your wish won't come True...

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

Once you've found the B

Find the 1

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII1III
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

Once you found the 1..............

Find the 6

9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999

Once you've found the 6...

Find the N (it's hard!!)

MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMNMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Once you've found the N...

Find the Q...
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOQOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Make 2 wishes!

>
>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>> >>
>>>>>
>>>> >>>
>>
>
>>
>>>
>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>> >>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>
>>>
>>
>

OK, NOW THAT U MADE A Wish, IT WILL COME TRUE...
ALL U HAVE 2 DO IS FORWARD
TO 3 PEOPLE BUT
IF YOU FORWARD TO MORE IT WILL HAPPEN SOONER!!!

Interview

2009-02-18T02:35:00.000-08:00

A Saudi was interviewed at the US Embassy for a visa.

Consul: What is your name?

Arab: Abdul Aziz

Consul: Sex?

Arab: Six to ten times a week

Consul: I mean, male or female?

Arab: Both male and female and sometimes even camels

Consul: Holy cow!

Arab: Yes, cows and dogs too!!!!

Consul: Man,........ isn't it hostile?

Arab: Horse style, dog style, any style

Consul: Oh.......... dear!

Arab: Deer? No deer, they run too fast!

Banned in Disneyland

2009-02-18T01:41:00.001-08:00

Banned in Disneyland

Mouse Pad For Dirty Old Man...

2009-02-17T20:25:00.001-08:00

Mouse Pad For Dirty Old Man...

Sakura Season In Japan

2009-02-17T18:07:00.000-08:00

Cherry Blossom Time

Sakura Season In Japan

Naked Super Model With Sexy Pose!

2009-02-17T17:30:00.000-08:00

Naked Super Models With Sexy Pose!

Enjoy!

Hehehehehe!!!

Octopus Child In India

2009-02-16T23:06:00.000-08:00

Octopus Girl In India

Whitney Houston - A Sad Story

2009-02-15T17:02:00.000-08:00

Whitney Houston: Today And Yesterday

A Warning Story

Stay away from drugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

.

Nelly's Crotch

2009-02-13T19:16:00.000-08:00

The California Highway Patrol (CHP) in the Los Angeles area recently found some amusement filling out accident reports in a series of car accidents. As it turned out, drivers were losing control and running into other vehicles upon seeing a giant woman's vagina displayed on the front part of an oncoming car.

The CHP started frantically looking for the dangerous pubis and came upon the tracks of a young hairdresser named Nelly Node. Nelly’s passion for the arts made the young woman photograph her own crotch and put the zoomed picture on her Volkswagen Beetle. Nelly decided to use such a shameless method to prepare her college course work in which she analyzed the art of design. The witty student’s idea worked for the college professors.

She was proudly driving her 'pubic beetle' until the CHP arrested the woman. The court ruled that Nelly’s car was creating a dangerous situation on the roads. She had to paint over her car’s hood.

Here’s a picture of her VW before she had to repaint it.

You don’t suppose the other drivers were driving along saying ‘What's that?!'

And was she charged with pubic indecency?

It’s a good thing she was picked up by the fuzz...

I’ll stop the cracks now.

Wise man, wise words

2009-02-12T20:44:00.001-08:00

Wise man, wise words

Confucius says........

Do This and Sleep More Soundly At Night.

2009-02-11T19:11:00.000-08:00

A Great Idea!

Do This and Sleep More Soundly
At Night.

Scan or photo all your and family's ID, Birth Cert,

School Cert, Driving License, Passport, all important

documents, attach them in your email and send to yourself

and all family members.

They will always be there in case the originals are lost.

Don't procrastinate! Do it today!!

And tell all your friends.

.

Warren Buffet's New Year Letter

2009-02-10T17:27:00.000-08:00

I find this is quite motivating especially under such economy climate.

Warren Buffet's New Year Letter

We begin this New Year with dampened enthusiasm and dented optimism. Our happiness is diluted and our peace is threatened by the financial illness that has infected our families, organizations and nations.
Everyone is desperate to find a remedy that will cure their financial illness and help them recover their financial health. They expect the financial experts to provide them with remedies, forgetting the fact that it is these experts who created this financial mess.
Every new year, I adopt a couple of old maxims as my beacons to guide my future. This self-prescribed therapy has ensured that with each passing year, I grow wiser and not older. This year, I invite you to tap into the financial wisdom of our elders along with me, and become financially wiser.
Hard work: All hard work brings profit; but mere talk leads only to poverty.
Laziness: A sleeping lobster is carried away by the water current.
Earnings: Never depend on a single source of income.
Spending: If you buy things you don't need, you'll soon sell things you need.
Savings: Don't save what is left after spending; spend what is left after saving.
Borrowings: The borrower becomes the lender's slave.
Accounting: It's no use carrying an umbrella, if your shoes are leaking.
Auditing: Beware of little expenses; a small leak can sink a large ship.
Risk-taking: Never test the depth of the river with both feet.
Investment: Don't put all your eggs in one basket.
I'm certain that those who have already been practicing these Principles remain financially healthy. I'm equally confident that those who resolve to start practicing these principles will quickly regain their financial health.
Let us become wiser and lead a happy, healthy, prosperous and Peaceful life.

Warren Buffet

.

Old Cock

2009-02-08T22:17:00.001-08:00

Old Cock

A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,

"OK old fart, time for you to retire."

The old rooster replies, "Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?" The young rooster says, "Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over.." The old rooster says, "I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop." The young rooster laughs. "You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start."

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him. They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.

He is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. He grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - he blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says, "Darn.....third gay rooster I bought this month."

Moral of this story? ..

Don't mess with the OLD FARTS - age, skill, and treachery will always overcome youth and arrogance!

And that's when the fight started.

2009-02-08T21:23:00.001-08:00

And that's when the fight started.

Here's what you have to look forward to when you get married!!!

My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were
in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?" "No," she
answered. I then said, "Is that your final answer?" She didn't even look
at me this time, simply saying "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And that's when the fight started....

..............................

I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"
It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.
"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said.
So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"
And that's when the fight started....

.............................. ...........

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed
the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.
I hooked up the boat up to the truck and proceeded to back out into a
torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into
the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would
be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"
And that's when the fight started

.............................. .........

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies.
Suddenly, at 3 o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside.
The woman, bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man
"Holy S**t, that must be my husband!"
So the man jumped out of the bed; scared and naked jumped out the
window. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush and
to his car as fast as he could go. A few minutes later he returned and
went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman, "I AM your husband!"
The woman yelled back, "Yeah, then why were you running?"
And that's when the fight started.....
........................................

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.
Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.
I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold
cream.
And that's when the fight started....
.......................................

A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel
horrible. I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a
compliment."
The husband replies, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."
And that's when the fight started.....
.............................. ..........

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first. "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"
"Nah, she can order for herself."
And that's when the fight started...
.............................. .........

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table. My wife asked, "Do you know her?" "Yes," I sighed, "She's
my old girlfriend. From what I understand, she took to drinking right
after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober
since."
"My God!" said my wife, "who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?"
And that's when the fight started...
.............................. ...........

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home.
I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and
come back later. The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt." So I ope ned my
shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on
your chest is proof enough for me" and she processed my Social Security
application.
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, "You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too."
And that's when the fight started...
.............................. .........

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive... so, I took her to a gas station.
And that's when the fight started...
.............................. ........

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds."
I bought her a scale.
And that's when the fight started...

.............................. .........

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, "What's on TV?"
I said, "Dust."
And that's when the fight started *

Yammy Cake!

2009-02-08T18:39:00.000-08:00

Yammy Cake!

Date with second woman!

2009-02-08T18:16:00.000-08:00

和另一女人約會 !　
Date with second woman! 　

一定要看完.... 感人 Must read, it is touching!

當我看完, 百感交集.. After I readI was unbearable with my complex feelings .. 熱淚盈框,當我們窮於應付生活所需之時,是否也忽略了些什麼 ?!
When we are busy to sustain our life, Do we forget or ignore something more important to us? 很感人的一篇文章 , 分享給你 !
A touching article to share..

和另一女人約會？

Date with second woman! 　

結婚了廿一年後，我發現了一種別出心裁的方法,可以讓愛的火花永保新鮮。
After get married for twenty-one years, i found an unique way to refresh my love life.

不久以前，我和另一位女士約會，其實那還是我妻子的主意，
Not long ago, I was going to date with a lady, and the idea came from my wife.

有一天她說：「我知道妳很愛她。」我很驚訝，立刻爭辯說：「但我愛的是妳呀！」「我知道，但你也愛她呀！」
One day my wife said: I know u love her. I was shocked: The one I love is you! She said: I know, but u love her too.

我妻子要我去看的女士是我的母親。
The lady that my wife asked me to visit was my mother.

她已經寡居了十九年，然而我忙碌的工作和身為二個孩子父親的責任，令我分身乏術，以致很少有時間和她相聚。
She was alone for nineteen years, however, I was busy with my job and my children, so I was less likely to visit her.

那晚，我打電話給她，邀約她第二天和我一起吃晚餐和看電影。
The night, i called her, invited her to have a dinner and movie with me at the second day.

「怎麼了，你還好嗎？」她問道。
' What happen? Are u alright?', she asked.

母親是那種會認為晚上那麼晚打電話，又突然邀約她，一定不會有什麼好事的人。

Mother always believed that the call made at night with a sudden date, surely not a good intention.

「我想如果有機會和妳單獨約會，一定很有意思。」我回答。
I answered: I was just thinking that if I have chance to date with u alone, it sure be very interesting.

她想了一會兒，然後說：「我非常樂意。」
After a while, she said: I do.

那個星期五下班以後，我開車去接她時，心裡有一點緊張,
The Friday came after i knock off from my worked, I fetched her at her home, felt like a little bit nervous.

因為從未嚐試過這樣的約會。
Because I had never been to a date with my mom before..

當我到達她家時，我看她對這樣的約會，似乎也有一點緊張。
When I reached her house, I found that she seems a little bit nervous too.

她在門內等著，身上穿著大衣，裡面那件禮服 ,還是最後一次慶祝結婚紀念日所穿的呢！
She was in her suite, which she wore during her last wedding anniversary with my dad, waiting for me in her house.

她的頭髮還特意捲了一下，臉上的微笑像天使一般。
She made her hair specially, smiling like an angel.

上了車後，她得意洋洋地說：「我告訴我的朋友，我要和我的兒子外出約會，他們都好羨慕，迫不及待要聽聽我們約會的情形。」
When she get into my car, she proudly said: all my friends were jealous at me when they know that i'm gonna dating with my son.

我們去一家雖不豪華，但十分雅致，溫暖舒適的餐廳。
We went to a restaurant which was not expensive but with warmth and cozy environment.

我母親挽住我的臂彎，好像第一夫人一般。
My mom hold my hand as she was the wife of a president.

入座以後，我必須幫她看菜單點菜，
After getting to her seat, I help her to order her food,

因為她的眼睛現在只有大的字才看得見。
Because she only can read the big capital words.

用餐一半時，我抬起頭來，看到母親正在凝視我，
When we were eating, I found she was staring at me,

嘴角帶著懷舊的笑容說：「記得當你小時候，總是我為你看菜單的。」「那現在妳正好可以休息，輪到我來為妳服務了。」我回答。
She smile and said: I remembered that during yr childhood, I always make the order for u. I answered: then now is yr chance to take a rest and let me to serve u.

一面享用晚餐，我們一面聊天，聊得很愉快，
We keep talking during our dinner,

談了許多最近幾年來，各自生命中的一些事。

Sharing about our life and some special things happening these few years.

我們聊得太久了，所以趕不上電影。當我送她回到家門口，
We talked for very long time until we missed the movie. When I fetched her back to her house,

她說「我要再和你一起外出，但下次讓我作東好嗎？」我答應了。
She asked: I'd like to date with u next time, but please let me pay the bill next time. I agreed.

回家後，妻子問我：「你的晚餐約會如何？」
When I back to my home, my wife asked: how's yr date with yr mom?

「非常有意思，比我想像的好多了！」 ~我回答。
' It was interesting and fun, over my expectation', I answered.

幾天以後，母親因心臟病猝發而去世。這事發生得太突然了，
Few days later, my mom passed away due to heart failure. The thing happened in an unexpected manner,

讓我完全措手不及。
I wasn't prepared for it at all.

不久以後，我收到一封信，裡面是上次我和母親約會的那家餐館的一張收據，上面有一張字條寫著：「我已先付了賬，因為我確定自己不可能再有機會去了，但我還是付了兩人份的賬──你和你的妻子。你絕對想不到那一晚的約會對我有多大的意義，我愛你。」
Soon after this, I received a letter, there are a receipt of the restaurant that I dated with my mom, and a message: I already paid the bill for our next date, even though I know I'd probably won't have chance to date with u anymore, I still pay the bill for two persons: u and yr wife. U will never know how meaningful the date to me, I love U..

從那一刻起，我深深體會，一定要及時說：「我愛你」，並且要常常撥出時間給我們所愛的人。
At the moment, I realized: we must always spare our precious time to our beloved, and told them u love them before it is too late.

世上沒有任何事比自然如來因緣和你的家庭更重要，多花時間和他們在一起，因為這事絕不能拖延到「以後有時間再說 ...」。
There is nothing more important than yr family, spend more time with them before it is too late.

「樹欲靜而風不止，子欲養而親不待」是人生一大憾事。
Don't make any regret in our life.

~{ 愛無分 ,愛有份}~
不要等到爱得太迟，珍惜现在。祝您辛福！

Watermelon Vs Papaya

2009-02-08T03:41:00.000-08:00

You don't want to make her angry!!!

Watermelon Vs Papaya

Good luck if you are her husband!!!!

.
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TELUK BAHANG Fisherman Found This

2009-02-07T22:05:00.001-08:00

TELUK BAHANG Fisherman Found This, Newspaper Not Allowed To Publish!

Don't know true or not?

An Unforgettable Wedding

2009-02-07T21:59:00.001-08:00

Photos From A Wedding Taking Place During The Chinese Earthquake

Can you imagine what it was like to have been photographing a wedding in Sichuan, China when 7.9 Earthquake hit and shakes for three minutes?

A really unforgettable wedding.

At least 3 people died in the church.

.

Sex In The Open..

2009-02-07T21:40:00.001-08:00

Sex in the open...........

不知道是哪個死小孩拍的
don't know which idiot guys..........

停在樹下車窗既涼又隱密
stop under the tree some more the window so close to tight

看到沒 , 就在車上
Can't you see?

正在嘿秀嘿秀
Doing the thing?

沒看到ㄇ?? have u seen it??
就在車上 on top of the car
鏡頭再調近點 move near a bit

.

A Short Love Story

2009-02-07T21:13:00.000-08:00

A SHORT LOVE STORY

A man and a woman who had never met before,

but who were both married to other people,

found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a trans-continental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room,

they were both very tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper berth and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, the man leaned down and gently woke the woman saying,.......... 'Ma'am,

I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket?

I'm awfully cold.'

'I have a better idea,' she replied 'Just for tonight,...... let's pretend that we're married.'

'Wow!...................... That's a great idea!', he exclaimed.

'Good,' she replied. .............'Get your own f##*!blanket.'

After a moment of silence, ......................he farted.

The End

Office Flirt.....

2009-02-07T21:00:00.000-08:00

Don't Play Play............

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We are selling Asshole

2009-02-07T20:42:00.000-08:00

'We're selling ass-holes

Two businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break
in their soon-to-be new store. As yet, the store wasn't ready,
with only a few shelves set up.
One said to the other, 'I bet any minute now some
senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we're
selling.'

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure
enough, a curious senior walked to the window, had a peek, and in a soft
voice asked 'What are you sellin' here?'

One of the men replied sarcastically, 'We're selling ass-holes.'

Without skipping a beat, the old timer said,
'You're doing well. Only two left.'

Seniors - don't mess with them.

If you delete this ... you seriously don't have a heart.

2009-02-07T17:48:00.000-08:00

If you delete this ... you seriously don't have a heart.

Hi, I am a 29 year old father. Me and my wife have had a
wonderful life together. God blessed us with a child too..
Our daughter's name is Rachel, and she is 10 years old.

Not long ago the doctors detected brain cancer and in her little body.
There is only one way to save her...an operation.
Sadly, we don't have enough money to pay the price. AOL and ZDNET have agreed to help us. The only way they can help us is this way, I send this email to you and you send it to other people. AOL will track this email and count how many people get it.

Every person who opens this email and sends it to at least 3 people will give us 32 cents.

Please help us. Sincerely

M.Dewadas

This is to remind you how lucky you are................

The Secret Of David Copperfield

2009-02-07T17:12:00.000-08:00

The Secret Of David Copperfield:

Amazing Show - Must See!!!!

2009-02-07T16:51:00.000-08:00

Amazing Show - Must See!!!!

..

Now this will bring tears to your eyes!!!

2009-02-07T07:19:00.000-08:00

> Now this will bring tears to your eyes!!!

>
> So you thought YOU had a bad month with the stock market . Top this one.
>
> This is an actual emergency room photo of a fisherman who lost control
> Of his High Speed Bass Boat in West Virginia.
> The warden's believe that he was travelling at a speed of approximately
> 75 mph at the time of the accident.
> He was unable to negotiate a curve in the narrow waterway and
> unfortunately for him, upon striking the shoreline, he was ejected
> from the boat and landed on an old fence post.
> You can probably picture what happened next, but this photograph
> really says it all.
>
> The good news is after about 6 months, this man made a full recovery
> after suffering a shattered hip, broken leg, several broken ribs,
> internal injuries and soft tissue damage. The doctors credited his
> recovery to the fact that the post lodged itself so tightly that there
> was little or no blood loss.
> Now, that's got to hurt

Don't Complain About Your Job..

2009-02-06T23:35:00.000-08:00

Don't Complain About Your Job........

Durex Ad

2009-02-06T21:50:00.000-08:00

Durex Ad, get it on!

.

New Proton MPV Revealed For The First Time!!!

2009-02-06T21:24:00.000-08:00

New Proton MPV Revealed For The First Time!!!

Looks like they have got this one right, finally.

..

New Nokia Phone at Offer Price!

2009-02-06T21:16:00.001-08:00

Dear All,

Don't miss.... Pls order / buy now
Nokia celebrates its 12th successive year, Don't miss this opportunity! Launching of new limited edition - NOKIA 8880 3G MOBILE PHONE WITH camera ONLY RM300/- ( Normal Price RM1,700/- )

Please inform if any of Ur friends want it.........
Interested, please e-mail me ASAP before 31st feb2009 for booking purpose, only 888 units in the market. First come first serve.

Sample attached

Hahaha... Take it easy..enjoy... seeing this model does bring back some sweet memories... hahaha .

Shocking Russia

2009-02-06T21:13:00.000-08:00

Shocking Russia!

I understand organ harvesting, but will the organ survive under such circumstances?

THIS IS REALLY HORRIBLE.

(WARNING: content of this article may be too graphical!)

Human parts processing factory (like sardines)

A factory in Russia harvesting kidneys, eye corneas and other human body parts for sale. Bodies are collected from drunk drivers who died in car accidents, people staying alone who had frozen to death in the cold winter, criminals on death row or unexplained death and unclaimed bodies.

Some body parts and bones are sold to Universities in various parts of the world. Leg bones are exported to pharmacies in Ireland and Germany to make tooth-fillings which is popular in Europe.

Other than Russia, India is also known to harvest human parts for export.

What a shocking revelation!!

Friends be very very careful, when you go out in public & also do not hang around with people you have just met. Avoid going about alone at night. This can happen to both females & males too. Also thought is being given to the child who passed away at the Kuliyapitiya hospital recently whose body was found minus some organs at the mortuary!

Stay close to your little ones, kids as they are easiest to be grabbed into a vehicle & taken away. There was a mention of a human body parts factory in India too. They may well have associates over here too.

Kerala Airways already started!

2009-02-06T21:01:00.000-08:00

Kerala Airways already started...U cannot believe?..... See below...!!!!

Relax..... enjoy your journey....!!!!

It's the time for meal...!!!

Air hostess....Ammini Rajappan

always at your service...

And one of our Friendly Ground Stuff.

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PORK CHOPS:This is really something else!

2009-02-06T20:46:00.001-08:00

PORK CHOPS:This is really something else!

In a zoo in California , a mother tiger gave birth to a rare set of triplet tiger cubs. Unfortunately,due to complications in the pregnancy, the cubs were born prematurely and due to their tiny size, they died shortly after birth.

The mother tiger after recovering from the delivery, suddenly started to decline in health, although physically she was fine The veterinarians felt that the loss of her litter had caused the tigress to fall into a depression. The doctors decided that if the tigress could surrogate another mother's cubs, perhaps she would improve.

After checking with many other zoos across the country, the depressing news was that there were no tiger cubs of the right age to introduce to the mourning mother. The veterinarians decided to try something that had never been tried in a zoo environment. Sometimes a mother of one species will take on the care of a different species. The only 'orphans' that could be found quickly, were a litter of weanling pigs. The zookeepers and vets wrapped the piglets in tiger skin and placed the babies around the mother tiger. Would they become cubs or pork chops??
Take a look...

Now, please tell me one more time ..........?
Why can't the rest of the world get along??
Are we not of the same species?????

Special Announcement

2009-02-05T20:19:00.000-08:00

Special Announcement

To All Staff,

Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown of economy in the country since last Christmas, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination). Persons who have been RAPED or SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW scheme (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate. Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional Income for Dependants or Spouses).or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance). Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by management.

Persons staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring it to the attention of the supervisor. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

Have a good day.

Managing Director

Apple's Jobs Does It Again!!

2009-02-05T20:08:00.000-08:00

Apple's Jobs Does It Again!

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in woman's breast implants.

The iTit will cost between $499.00 and $699.00 depending on speaker size. The tits will be the Play and Volume buttons.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

Now men can listen to them and staring at their breasts at the same time!

This could become the hottest product launch since the iPod.

Cute Food

2009-02-04T23:21:00.001-08:00

Why send your kids to school with a boring lunch pail when you can make awesomely cute bento boxes like this one?

Too Good To Wash Off......

2009-02-04T21:13:00.001-08:00

Too Good to wash off.......

畫好後手大概也麻痺了
畫得真美，一定捨不得洗掉
要吃飯怎麼辦呢?

Amazed? Tell your friends!!

I will try to post new stuff everyday. Come back soon!

My New Windshield Wipers

2009-02-04T20:53:00.001-08:00

New Windshield wipers

I got a new set of wiper blades on my car (a Peugeot). I think they might be too big because they hang over the edges a little, but I don't care, they work great and I would have to say that they are the only blades I have ever had that I actually like to watch working. Call me crazy, but lately I have been driving around non-stop with them on. I've even been pulled over and the cop asked to go for a ride so he could watch them work..

They were outrageously expensive (being French), but safety is my main concern and like I said, they work great. Let me know if you would like a pair for your car.

scroll down......

Impressive design, elegant hardware, although I do have some reservations about the washer option!!!

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!

2009-02-04T20:01:00.001-08:00

Four worms and a lesson to be learned!!!!

A Pastor decided that a visual demonstration would add emphasis to his Sunday sermon.

Four worms were placed into four separate jars.

1.The first worm was put into a container of alcohol.

2. The second worm was put into a container of cigarette smoke.

3. The third worm was put into a container of chocolate syrup.

4.. The fourth worm was put into a container of good clean soil.

At the conclusion of the sermon, the Pastor reported the following results:
The first worm in alcohol - Dead.

The second worm in cigarette smoke - Dead

Third worm in chocolate syrup - Dead

Fourth worm in good clean soil - Alive.

So the Pastor asked the congregation 'What did you learn from this demonstration???'

Maxine was sitting in the back, quickly raised her hand and said,

'As long as you drink, smoke and eat chocolate, you won't have worms!' That pretty much ended the service…....

Faith, The Two Legged Dog

2009-02-04T19:48:00.000-08:00

This is 'Faith'

This dog was born on Christmas Eve in the year 2002. He was born with 3 legs - 2 healthy hind legs and 1 abnormal front leg which need to be amputated. He of course could not walk when he was born. Even his mother did not want him.

His first owner also did not think that he can survive. Therefore, he was thinking of 'putting him to sleep'.
By this time, his present owner, Jude Stringfellow, met him and wanted to take care of him.
She is determined to teach and train this dog to walk by himself. Therefore she named him 'Faith'.

In the beginning, she put Faith on a surfing board to let him feel the movements. Later she used peanut butter on a spoon as a lure and reward for him to stand up and jump around. Even the other dog at home also helped to encourage him to walk. Amazingly, only after 6 months, like a miracle, Faith learned to balance on his 2 hind legs and jumped to move forward. After further training in the snow, he now can walk like a human being.

Faith loves to walk around now. No matter where he goes, he just attracts all the people around him.
He is now becoming famous on the international scene. He has appeared on various newspapers and TV shows.

There is even one book entitled 'With a little faith' being published about him. He was even considered to appear in one of Harry Potter movies.

His present owner Jude Stringfellew has given up her teaching post and plans to take him around the world to preach that even without a perfect body, one can have a perfect soul'.

In life there are always undesirable things. Perhaps one will feel better if one changes the point of view from another direction.

I hope this message will bring fresh new ways of thinking to everyone and that everyone can appreciate and be thankful for each beautiful day that follows. Faith is the continual demonstration of the Strength of Life

A small request: All you are asked to do is keep this circulating.

All you are asked to do is keep
This circulating.
Even if it's to one more person.
In memory of anyone you know that has been struck down
By cancer or is still living with it.

T-Shirt Humor!

2009-02-04T19:39:00.000-08:00

T-Shirt Humor!

Girls With No Sense Of Humor please do not scroll down!

A Dog named Sex

2009-02-04T17:21:00.000-08:00

A Dog Named Sex

Be careful how you choose a name for your dog!!

So, there is no need to ask your sons and daughters to learn spelling anymore!

2009-02-04T17:00:00.000-08:00

So, there is no need to ask your sons and daughters to learn spelling anymore!

Women are from Venus...........

2009-02-03T22:24:00.000-08:00

Brave man jokes..

Why are women like clouds?
Eventually they fuck off and its a really nice day.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry it !

What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.

How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

How do you piss off a female archaeologist??
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it comes from.

How is a woman like a condom?
Both of them spend more time in your wallet than on your dick.

What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.

Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.

Why do women rub their eyes when they wake up?
Because they don't have balls to scratch.

Why did God create woman?
To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.

Why do women fake orgasms?
Because they think men care.

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?
Nothing, she's been told twice already.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?
Made her chain too long.

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told

I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

Women will never be equal to men...until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO

2009-02-03T20:59:00.000-08:00

IRISH BLONDE IN A CASINO

An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived at a casino in Vegas.

She immediately bet 20,000 US-dollars on a single roll of the dice.

She said to the 2 dealers :

" I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely naked. "

With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled :

" Come on, baby, mama needs new clothes ! "

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed :

" YES! YES! I WON, I WON !! "

She hugged the dealers, picked up her winnings and clothes, and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded.

Finally, one of them got around and asked : " What did she roll ? "

The other answered: " I don't know. I thought you were watching ! "

THIS PROVES 3 THINGS :

Not all Irish are stupid; not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

The Ostrich story...

2009-02-03T20:50:00.001-08:00

The Ostrich story...

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

The waitress asks them for their orders.

The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich,
'What's yours?'

'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.

A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40
please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change
for payment.

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A
hamburger, fries and a coke.'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'

Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the
waitress.

'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a
salad,' says the man.

'Same,' says the ostrich.

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on
the table.

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir. How
do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every
time?'

'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put
my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'

'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million
dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want for as long
as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there,' says the man.

The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'

The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall
chick with a big ass and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'

p/s: Guys! Please be careful with what you wish for !!!

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

2009-02-03T20:39:00.001-08:00

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly

This is the cleanest E-mail joke I've come across in a long while!

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter 'What are you doing?' she asked.

'Hunting Flies' He responded.

'Oh ! Killing any?' She asked.

'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied.

Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?'

He responded, '3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone'.

How Many Faces Can You Find?

2009-02-03T20:21:00.000-08:00

How Many Faces Can You Find?

Answer: 13!

Eye Makeup

2009-02-03T20:00:00.000-08:00

Remember ladies, the best way to attract a man is with your eyes. That's why it's so important to have your eye makeup perfectly applied.

If it weren't for the excellent application of proper eye makeup this young lady probably wouldn't get a second look from most guys.

But then again I could be wrong!!!

Ha Ha Ha!!

How much is that doggy in the window?

2009-02-03T19:37:00.000-08:00

How much is that doggy in the window?

Dog Restaurant In Beijing.

Ever wonder why there are no stray dogs in China?

Tasty Juice! Who needs Viagra?

2009-02-03T17:54:00.001-08:00

Tasty frog juice! Who needs Viagra!

I have a great idea, what about worm Juice?

Happy New Year to You & Your loved ones

2009-02-02T21:13:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year to You & Your loved ones.....

May the year of the OX brings You & Your Family Good Health, Good Fortunes, Joy, Happiness and Laughter ...!!!

KEONG HEE HUAT CHAI...!!

In the last one year, there may be areas that I'd unknowingly offended you, please believe me that:

I'm still gentle, please don't get mad at me.

'Cause there're times when time is pressing, when "there's fire burning the butt", it's inevitable that tempers flared.

Therefore, please, everyone, cool down and extinguish the fire in you,

Be a hero, don't be so calculative.

It's now.....

A brand New Chinese New Year

So.....Whether you're in a rush to get married,

"Balik Kampung",

"Ronda-ronda",

or taking a vacation, I hope you've a happy time.

Don't forget to water my mailbox occasionally.

HOPE
ALL OF YOU WILL PROGRESS FURTHER AHEAD IN THE FORTHCOMING YEAR AND HAVE A VERY PROSPEROUS YEAR.

GONG XI FA CAI!!

New Corporate Logos

2009-02-02T20:19:00.000-08:00

After The Crisis: A Parody of 15 Corporate Logos

The the most serious economic crisis we have faced after the Great Depression. Stock markets from around the world fell as much as 20% in a single week, dozens of banks either failed or were rescued by government and private institutions, and companies started laying off employees as a consequence of the reduced demand.
We know how we entered into the crisis, but we don't how, when, or how we will be getting out of it. Considering that issue, we decided to our little bit to help cheer everyone up by redoing the logos of some renowned companies …. after the crisis.

Citibank

Xerox

Ford

Nike

Yellow Best Buy

Ferrari

Dow Jones

Goodyear

Dell computers

Chrysler

Shoe attack!

2009-02-02T19:57:00.000-08:00

Shoe Attack!!

Watch the guy, not the girl!

2009-02-02T04:01:00.000-08:00

Wei, watch the guy, not the girl!

I said, watch the guy!!

Frog or Horse?

2009-02-01T06:30:00.000-08:00

You think it is a frog and I think it is a horse!

Wait for a while

Moral: We have to respect each other's opinion; you can see it clearly in the above picture. We just need to wait and listen actively to others' point of view!

Have a nice & blessed day!

God Of Fortune!

2009-02-01T06:29:00.000-08:00

福神！ ( 記得要寄出 )
Fortune God! (Remember to forward)

祝我身邊的每一位朋友都能 ~ 幸福！快樂！富足 !
Bless all my friends with good fortune, happiness and prosperity!

這是會為你帶來好運的七福神 ~
These seven fortune gods will bring good fortune to you.

只要把他轉寄給你想祝福的人 , 你的夢想便會實現唷！
Just forward to all your friends that you want to wish, and your dream will come true!
緊記保持燦爛笑容，好運就會追隨著你。

Remember always smile happily and good fortune will follow you.
願 ....... 幸福 .... 跟隨你左右！

May … happiness always be your side!
願 .... 煩惱 .... 隨風而遠逝！
May …… worries ……… follow the wind and be blown away!

Anybody dare to eat?

2009-02-01T06:23:00.000-08:00

Restaurant Lok Chat, Bukit Bintang, Malaysia * Anybody dare to eat?

why you should have a camera phone

2009-02-01T06:19:00.000-08:00

why you should have a camera phone with you all the time.

Let's Go For A Drink

2009-02-01T06:14:00.000-08:00

What goes through a man's and a woman's mind when someone says "Let's go for a drink"?

The Most Alien-Looking Place on Earth

2009-02-01T06:12:00.000-08:00

this place is so BEAUTIFUL ...

The Most Alien-Looking Place on Earth

Socotra Island: you have to see it to believe it

(images credit: Jan Vandorpe, socotra)

Imagine waking up on the Socotra Island and taking a good look around you (let's say your buddies pulled a prank on you and delivered you there, and lets also assume that you don't have any hangover from abuse of any substances). After a yelp of disbelief, you'd be inclined to think you were transported to another planet - or traveled to another era of Earth's history.

The second would be closer to the truth for this island, which is part of a group of 4 islands, has been geographically isolated from mainland Africa for the last 6 or 7 million years. Like the Galapagos Islands , this island is teeming with 700 extremely rare species of flora and fauna, a full 1/3 of which are endemic, i.e. found nowhere else on Earth.

(images credit: dianadrz, Irina Travina)

(image credit: socotra)

The climate is harsh, hot and dry, and yet - the most amazing plant life thrives there. Situated in the Indian Ocean 250 km from Somalia and 340 km from Yemen , the wide sandy beaches rise to limestone plateaus full of caves (some 7 kilometers in length) and mountains up to 1525 meters high.

(image credit: Marco Pavan)

The name Socotra is derived from a Sanscrit name, meaning 'The Island of Bliss '... Is it the beaches? The isolation and quiet? or the strange and crazy botanical allure?

Alien-looking plants: H. P. Lovecraft's secret inspiration?

Was the famous Chtulhu myths creator aware of these forbidding mountains with their hauntingly weird flora (think of plant mutations from his 'The Color out of Space') ? We almost tempted to call Socotra the other 'Mountains of Madness' - the trees and plants of this island were preserved thru the long geological isolation, some varieties being 20 million years old...

We begin with the dracena cinnibaris or Dragon's Blood Tree, the source of valuable resin for varnishes, dyes, and 'cure-all' medicine; also (predictably) used in medieval ritual magic and alchemy -

(image credit: Christian Besnier)

The branches spread out into the sky and from below appear to hover over the landscape like so many flying saucers... and from above they have a distinct mushroom look:

(image credit: Jan Vandorpe)

(image credit: dianadrz)

There is also the Desert Rose (adenium obesium) which looks like nothing so much as a blooming elephant leg:

(images credit: Jan Vandorpe)

(image credit: Denis Romanov)

Dorstenia gigas - apparently does not require any soil and sinks roots straight into the bare rock:

(images credit: Jan Vandorpe)

It also has a distinct personality and likes to smile for the camera:

(image credit: Tomas van Houtryve)

Somewhat similar to the weird Dorstenia gigas, is this 'bucha' vegetable, found as far north as Croatia . I hope it's not pregnant with anything malignant inside this sack. John Wyndham (with his 'The Day of the Triffids') would've loved it:

(image credit: Damir)

Also found in Socotra 's landscape is the ever-strange and extremely rare Cucumber Tree (dendrosicyos socotranum) - and yes, it's related to what's sitting in a pickle jar in your fridge:

(image credit: Jan Vandorpe)

Getting around can be a challenge, as there are almost no roads

Despite the fact that this island has around 40,000 inhabitants, the Yemeni govenment put in the first roads just 2 years ago - after negotiations with UNESCO, which has declared this island a World Natural Heritage Site. I would prefer a camel ride to what is bound to be a bumpy and slow 4x4 ride... It is a quiet and peaceful enclave in an otherwise troubled world. If you decide to visit there, you can forget about beachfront hotels and restaurants; this island is geared towards eco-tourism and sustaining the local economy and way of life.

(images credit: Adele Obice, Marco Pavan, Denis Romanov)

This island is a birder's paradise as well, with 140 different species of birds; 10 of which are not found anywhere else in the world. A unique Socotra warbler, sunbird, starling, bunting, sparrow and cisticola are among the ones found here. There are also Socotra Cormorants:

(images credit: Magellan Tours, Rafeek Manchayil)

Want to see some fairy-tale (and possibly haunted) shipwrecks? There are diving tours available... Hopefully some IMAX crew would film it in all its glory one day.

(image credit: socotra)

To give you a glimpse of Socotra's and Yemen 's in general totally unique architecture, check out this place located on the mainland:

Al Hajarah, Yemen - Walled city in the mist

Computer game designers take note - this mysterious city in the foggy Yemen 's Haraz Mountains can surely fire up imagination of anybody who decides to explore it:

(image credit: Jan Vandorpe)

(image credit: Bellosta)

(image credit: Michaela Diener)

Dune? Clark Ashton Smith's Zothique? Pack your bags, for this is on our good old planet Earth, no interstellar visa required.

Model sues London breast surgeon.

2009-02-01T06:05:00.001-08:00

Beijing Olympic You didn't see

2009-02-01T06:00:00.001-08:00

What You Missed On The Live Telecast.

震撼的开幕式 电视上看不到的镜头

一场大型晚会中，负责切换镜头决定机位的导播是异常重要的。好的导播可以恰到好处的利用机位和远近镜头给大家呈现出最好的效果。结果导播把老谋子好几年的心血给打了5折。这次导播的遗憾的让我们完全没有真实的看到一个美轮美奂举世震惊的开幕式。下面我就把遗憾的镜头给大家传上来，弥补下。开场的击缶，整齐！壮观！

应该切远景的时候居然用局部特写，许多搭配在一起简直如画般美好的场景，被大打折扣。还是击缶，大家谁在电视上看到这个场景了？没错，这个场景的时候，导播把镜头切到观众席去了。

鸟巢真的是个气势磅礴的地方，还是击缶部分。仰角度观看。导播就会切观众席特写

升国旗，奏国歌

谁在电视上看到还有字了= =如果不是这组照片，没去现场的近40亿人，谁知道上面还有行字？

在桃花的部分，导播坚定的切了一个桃花的超大近景特写。所以全世界40亿人在这个部分，基本只看到了疑似塑料花的道具特写。那么我们来看现场的效果

真实的效果！！！被这张桃花震撼了！！

下面是手拿竹制书简的表演。在电视上，导播给这个表演来的也是大特写，特写到满眼都是脑袋上的长羽毛，感觉就是一大群脑袋上带羽毛球的人。我们来看现场的效果

泼墨写意，画般感觉。而此时我们能在电视上看到的，只有导播切到的脑袋顶端羽毛特写

这个镜头的时候，看电视的人，完全看不到两边的优美陶瓷图画。只给了中间特写，而且是长时间的，完全没有顾忌到两边的整体协调性。

这么美好的角度，这么美丽的场景，你们居然只在女演员脸上打特写，那几个姑娘是好看，但是不能只拍她们啊！电视上没能看到这个场景，太遗憾了

呐，这和今天电视上播出的，真的是同一场开幕式吗？这么美丽的东西，为什么没有被呈现出来

多么美丽的敦煌飞天舞者。只给了两个镜头，还不知所谓

我敢打赌看电视转播的观众，都不知道这幅画原来是这样的。

这是太极拳表演变换太极阵，太美了。电视上在给演员们打超近距离面部特写近景

你们知道这是什么吗？没人知道吧？这是太极拳最开始那段。那段大家应该记得很清楚，还是在打近距离特写。远景，远景才是张艺谋导演追求的效果啊！！！

鸟巢烟火

连我们精心制作的烟火都没有拍摄出来

火树银花

导播只知道航拍烟火很有feel，却不知道从鸟巢向上看，又一处人间胜景